I Was Giving Birth During a Global Pandemic
Corona Virus has affected us all, even those who say they are not worried or care about a global Pandemic. It has affected even them whether it is not seeing friends/family who does care about it, having to wear a mask which was mandated, or even their job because it is now mandated to get the vaccine.
This is a sensitive subject; therefore, I will be telling you about the effect it had on my family, my pregnancy, and my point of view in general from how it has affected me. This post will not be intended to offend anyone (none of my posts are) regardless of your feelings on the subject. Something that I need to get across is that this whole blog is MY story, and if someone does not agree then that is completely fine, and I encourage YOU to write your own story.
The virus hit Wisconsin hard in March of 2019. I was 28 weeks pregnant when it started to take off. I was nervous going into all my appointments because even though a hospital is where you are supposed to heal it is also a place where viruses spread like wildfire! The nurse offered me a mask and I had two feelings about this; 1. I felt bad taking a mask from a hospital that was in short supply and 2. I was embarrassed to be wearing a mask (as if anyone knew who I even was anyways). I hate that I was embarrassed because I was a 30-year-old woman, PREGNANT woman at the beginning of a worldwide pandemic. But that was how I felt, masks were not a mandated thing just yet.
As stated in blog post #3 my 2nd baby shower was canceled and made into a live video baby shower. I was Clorox-ing groceries, doorknobs, etc. Another feeling I had during this was “why did this have to happen when I was pregnant”. Pregnant for the first time, planned out, and executed perfectly. None of us could’ve seen this coming but I couldn’t help but try to understand yet again “Why me?!”.
I felt robbed of a normal pregnancy, baby showers, seeing family, and having them rub my belly and talk to the girl’s saying things like “Hi, I am your aunt so n so”. Not to mention this was the start of so many of my friendships changing, and not changing for the best. Which I will touch on in later posts.
The reality of 30 weeks pregnant during a Global Pandemic
By 30 weeks pregnant we were already into a crisis with Corona Virus. Mandated masks, appointments if only necessary, and even my MFM was working from home and would call in to speak with me regarding the results of each ultrasound. I was also experiencing severe ‘Braxton Hicks’ contractions. I was measuring at 41 weeks pregnant!
The doctor knew I would be delivering early and sent me to get my first round of steroids to help develop the girls’ lungs. Right in my ass cheek, Holy shit you guys… it hurt SO bad! And not to mention the nurse counted down before sticking me with this giant syringe full of pain. 3…2…1… POW! I told her next time if she could not count down to pain, that would be more ideal.
The girls were moving like wild animals in my belly (which was amazing!). Everything seemed normal at 30 weeks, nothing to be worried about regarding their growth, and all-around health. I was in so much pain from my neck/back down to my feet. I could only stand for a maximum of 15 minutes before needing to sit down (I WAS HUGE). I could hardly sleep as I was so uncomfortable, I started sleeping in the guest room so I could have my own space. Thank goodness for my pregnancy pillow, that thing was GOLD.
At 31 weeks I got a shocking text from my pregnant twin bestie that read “I’m going in for a C-section”. It took a second to resonate in my pregnant brain, then I text back “Holy Shit”. I was so concerned for my friend that it was the longest hour or two of my life waiting to hear her tell me she was okay and so were her little boys! I also could not help but think “I’m glad that is not me”. They were early, only 31 weeks. That is more than 2 months early!
THEN IT ALL CHANGED- 32 weeks
I went in for another routine ultrasound (2x a week at this point). Again, my MFM was working from home looking over all the scans. Then the nurse said he was coming IN to talk to me. “Umm… he is coming IN?! Like in person?!”. That is when I knew it was not good.
He walked in the door and sat down to explain that I would be admitted that second. Gracie’s (Twin A) cord was beginning to detach from the placenta (Placental abruption). Basically, if I went home and it completely detach, I would have lost Gracie and possibly even Paisley. It happens so fast that you cannot get to a hospital fast enough to save the unborn baby.
Placental abruption is relatively rare, with slight separation occurring in only about one of 150 pregnancies (that’s less than 1 percent).
My heart sank. I started crying, I felt like I had failed my girls. I tried to keep them safe in my belly for as long as I possibly could. Again, I felt “why me? Why my babies?!”. I will say that I was so thankful for the team, they were doing everything to keep my girls safe.
As I was being admitted I noticed that I literally had NOTHING. I had my keys and my phone… because my pregnant brain didn’t even think to grab my entire purse. Nope. Just my keys. I text Tim to call me as soon as he could. With tears rolling down my hormonal pregnant face I could barely even answer when he called. I tried to explain to him that I was being admitted and the girls would be monitored.
Naturally, I had to get my 2nd round of steroids which I knew what this consisted of. I told the nurse not to count down and to just stick it in me (that’s what she said). Well…. She jammed that syringe in my butt cheek, no mercy. What in the actual HELL?! She might as well have punched me in the face after too. Next, I needed an IV (YAY!). It took the nurse 3 tries to get it into my hand. If you have never had one in your hand or the top of your forearm count yourself lucky, it hurts like hell. Then they moved on to put the fetal monitors on me. Obviously, I needed two sets, one for each baby. They consisted of Velcro and jelly all over my belly. This is how I would live out the rest of my time until the girls were born. If being a whale was not enough (oh yes, they weighed me in 165lbs!!) I gained 50lbs total in 32 weeks, they had to poke me multiple times, attach foreign objects to my belly, and stick me in the butt with an enormous syringe.
You could say at this point I was having the time of my life! My husband brought me everything I needed (including my watermelon that I couldn’t stop eating). It felt better to know he was with me.
The first night I cried all night because I was so uncomfortable. The bed would adjust every time I moved because it was one of those smart beds or some crap. All I know was it was awful. To top it off I had to ask permission to go pee EVERY TIME. Since I was attached to 800 monitors, they had to detach everything before I could go.
By the following day, I needed a break from the monitors, in which they told me I could have 15 minutes but that was all. Because of the state of Gracie, they needed to monitor her 24/7. I had huge bruises from the monitors on my belly, so you can imagine just how uncomfortable it was. I was also sweating like a pig, so I got my very own mini fan. It was the little things, but I was so thankful for that fan!
The other enjoyable part was not having to cook whatsoever. I’d just pick up the phone order 50 things and they dropped it off. I was a little obsessed with the hot pretzels and cheese and would order 3-4 every time. Tim would come to visit after work and I would order our food ahead of time to have a date night and watch Jersey Shore.
Night 2/ Day 3
I woke up rather abruptly to the nurse moving my monitors around, I assumed that one or both of the babies had moved, and they were simply readjusting them. I looked at the nurse and said, “I have to pee really bad”. She ignored me…. I thought to myself well that was rude because I really must go. After all, I had two babies pushing on my bladder 24/7. She then got on her phone and said, “I need you NOW”. She was calling for the charge nurse to come in and that was when I knew something was wrong.
The charge nurse came into the room in a rush and my nurse said, “I cannot find Twin A’s heartbeat”. When I heard that I nearly threw up. They scrambled on my belly for what felt like 30 minutes until they found Gracie’s heartbeat again. It was lower than normal, and the nurse looked at me and said “I didn’t wake you the first time but this is the second time I was unable to find twin A’s heartbeat”. Again, I thought I was going to throw up.
The OB ran in as well as about 4 or 5 other nurses. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “1 time is one thing, but 2 times is concerning, I think it is time to get those babies out before we are too late”. I was as calm as I could be and I asked, “do we have enough time for my husband to get here?”. She said, “yes if he gets here soon”.
Now keeping in mind that we were in the middle of a pandemic this would be the ONLY time my husband could see his babies. They weren’t currently allowing anyone in the NICU unless you were inpatient (so basically moms giving birth). I was in a panic, to say the least. It was 4 AM and my husband was working the 3rd shift, so he had just gone to bed not long ago. I called once… I called twice… I called three times and he finally answered. I said, “I need you to come to the hospital right now, I am having an emergency C-section”. He said, “now?!”. I said, “No Tim tomorrow and I am just calling you at 4 AM to give you a heads up, YES NOW!!”. (That was my sassy sense of humor talking because I was freaking out)
He said, “okay I am on my way”. I told him not to speed because I do not need all four of us in the hospital. Wishful thinking, I’m sure he was just as panicked as I was. He arrived in a shocking 20 minutes (it was a 30-minute drive). They pumped me full of fluid and moved me out of my room to the OR. On the way down to the OR, I annoyingly asked the surgeon if she practiced this surgery (insert crying laughing emoji here!) Then I told her to cut straight and low!
This was not my birth plan. Cutting my babies from my body was not what I wanted and especially not at 32 weeks and 3 days. I failed my girls, I was unable to keep them safe to full term, I think that was the hardest part at this point. As a mom, and I was a mom whether they were in my body or out of my body; I blamed myself. If I’m being completely honest, I still blame myself to this day.
I was rushed into the OR; they went over everything that was about to happen, and I wish I could tell you everything they said but I basically blacked out. I had the epidural point in, and they laid me down as fast as possible because that shit kicked in faster than I ever imagined. Then just like that, I felt literally nothing from the nipple line down. As they were placing my legs where they needed them, I got a lovely shot of my crotch wide open for the world to see in the reflection of the mirror. I reassured myself that they have seen it all before and if dignity was what I was looking for I was in the absolute wrong place!
They put up a barrier so I couldn’t see what they were doing, put oxygen on me and I looked to my husband for reassurance that everything was okay. Then, I felt lots of tugging and pressure. Again, I looked to Tim to tell me everything was okay and before I knew it, I heard the best sound in the entire world… My sweet Gracie (Twin A) screaming. Then one minute later the second-best sound in the world was my Paisley (Twin B) screaming.
I looked over and saw my two beautiful girls, I couldn’t even cry because I was so in awe of my girls the entire world stopped. Then moments later I yelled to Tim to get in there and take as many pictures as he could!
My next vision was my amazing husband holding each one of my babies for less than a minute before they were taken away to the NICU. So, when I say this was not my birth plan… I mean it. I didn’t get my girls laying on my chest. I didn’t get to kiss them over and over and cry at how beautiful they were. What I got was taken away to another room to rest for an hour, then taken back to my hospital room where there was no baby to be found.
It took a few hours before I was even able to see them in the NICU. Now, I need to be clear on something. That was the only time my husband got to see our girls for 14 full days. FOURTEEN DAYS!!! I wasn’t thinking about that at the time like I am now and how hard that must have been for him. But he put on a brave face for me, made sure I was okay then left to go take care of our dogs and get some rest as he only had 45 mins of sleep.
I tried to pump right away for my girls, and I couldn’t believe it! I was already making colostrum. I was so proud of myself, at least I could do that for my girls. Once I was able to go see them in the NICU my nurse helped me get changed and she wheeled me down there. Another thing to mention was I had this nurse every day because she requested to be my nurse. That was such an amazing feeling and we hit it off like we were friends. So, when I asked if she was going to come into the NICU with me to see my babies she gave me a crazy look and said, “UM DUH!”.
I Tried to walk down at first, but the epidural was still in my system, and I felt like I was a newborn calf trying to walk a straight line, it was not pretty. Back in the wheelchair, I went! We walked through the doors, scrubbed up, and then I saw them. The most amazing little babies I had ever seen in my life.
They came into the world fighting and little did I know that this was only the beginning of the biggest fight of their lives, and my own.
I have also included more products that helped Gracie during her hospital stay. I will be adding breastfeeding and maternity items soon!
November is prematurity month and a perfect time for us to share this special blog post.
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