I thought I was having a miscarriage
I was 6.5 weeks pregnant when I woke up to use the bathroom and found nothing but blood covering the toilet bowl. In an absolute panic, I text my husband that I think I was having a miscarriage. I quickly called my doctor and she got me in quickly to check me out.
Soon after arriving she checked my cervix and mentioned that she did see some blood but that my cervix was still closed, which was good news. She checked my HCG levels, and again they were still rising. From there she decided to send me over to the Pewaukee clinic to have a transvaginal ultrasound. My original doctor’s appointment was at 10 AM and my ultrasound was not until 1:30 PM so this was the longest wait of my life.
My husband met me at the clinic in a calm, cool, collected manner (he is always the calm one). I said to him that I was scared but for some reason, I had faith in our little nugget. As we got called back, shaking I made my way into the exam room, disrobed, and waited.
It was a long few seconds until the ultrasound tech, who by the way was extremely pregnant (not helpful, but great for her!!) at the time said to us “do you see that little flutter? That is your baby”. The relief washed over me knowing that my sweet baby was safe and very much alive! I jokingly said to her “oh good, just one!” she said, “yes, just one”. They told me they thought the blood was simply the egg implanting into my cervix.
12-week ultrasound
Now let’s Flash forward 5.5 weeks to my routine 12-week ultrasound in November. My mom came with me for this one as my husband was working and ultimately it was “just routine”. As I lay there thinking to myself multiple times how bloated I was and how I looked pregnant and how could that be seeing as I was only 12 weeks pregnant! Well… let me tell you WHY!
As the ultrasound tech was rolling jelly all over my belly my mom stopped her and said, “was that two heads I saw?!”. I was tired as any pregnant woman is but boy did I perk up quickly! “TWO?!” I said. The ultrasound tech stopped for a moment and said, “what did they tell you at your first ultrasound?” “That I was having a baby and that was the heartbeat” I responded. The ultrasound tech paused again and said, “well you are having twins”.
To say I panicked would be an understatement. I was crying hysterically out of pure terror! How was I going to take care of two babies? That is two of everything! That is double the money! THAT IS A LOT OF SHIT! My mom was just about to jump for joy as I am sitting there crying. Once I finally calmed down and allowed it to hit me that I was going to be a mom of twins, that was when my maternal-fetal medicine specialist walked in.
My MFM as I will call him, busted my bubble a second time. He started to explain to me that I was having identical twins which means they will be sharing a placenta which in turn means they will be sharing a blood supply. He then proceeded to go over all the things which can go wrong with my babies.
My heart sank into my stomach as I just learned about these two amazing babies living inside of me could go through so many changes over such a small amount of time resulting in 1 baby dying or both dying.
Little did I know that I had already lost one baby. Our fraternal triplet. That is right I was pregnant with triplets. Two were identical and our angel baby was Fraternal. This is where the trauma begins, I may not have known it then, but I know it now. I will touch more on this later in my pregnancy.
Identical twins and diagnosis:
TAPS- Twin anemia polycythemia sequence (TAPS) is a rare but severe complication in identical twin pregnancies that share a single placenta (monochorionic). TAPS is caused by an imbalance in red blood cells exchanged between the twins through tiny placental blood circulations (anastomoses).
TTTS- Twin to twin transfusion syndrome occurs in pregnancies where twins share one placenta (afterbirth) and a network of blood vessels that supply oxygen and nutrients essential for development in the womb. Sometimes the vessel connections within the placenta are not evenly dispersed and there is an imbalance in the blood exchange between the twins. One twin — the donor twin — gives away more blood than it receives in return and runs the risk of malnourishment and organ failure. The recipient twin receives too much blood and is susceptible to overwork of the heart and other cardiac complications.
These are the two most common diagnoses that can result in detrimental outcomes. TTTS does have the option for laser surgery however, it is not always successful, and even if it is successful many times one or more fetuses pass away.
Now that we have dove in deep into the situation I was facing head-on you may have a better understanding of where I was mentally, which I will touch on in my next post as well as what my pregnancy looked like from here on out.
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